Que Sara Sara

Being autistic and having ADHD, SSRI antidepressants don’t tend to work well on me. I’m on them for a very short time before I need to increase the dosage. The last one I had maxed out on in 6 months. That was 4-5 years ago. I went off all antidepressants and that worked well for me for several years.

This year has been rough. I have been so close to the edge of hitting that nuclear button that I had made plans. Not definite plans yet, but plans nonetheless. I knew I needed help.

I was put on Cymbalta. So far, its been 5-6 weeks and I still feel pretty good. I have my cranky and tired days, but that comes from sensory overwhelm at work or lack of sleep plus adhd and asd. A mess. But not a depressed mess! Thats the difference. I feel really good. I don’t feel emotionally suppressed, like on SSRIs. I don’t come home furious at the world, slamming around in a very prickly (could give an African porcupine a run for its money) sort of way. I am back to being me and that is helpful, doing great at my job (I no longer want to quit at the drop of a hat), and I’m not in burnout either. I’m happy. Not euphoric and manic, just happy. This is where I want to be. I hope this stays for a long time. The past tells me it won’t, but I’m hopeful.