Que Sara Sara

I know that I am not the only neurodivergent person to have troubles with sleeping. Our brains are gogogogogo even at night. Even if we are exhausted. When I was younger I wouldn’t crawl into bed until I was thoroughly exhausted or I wouldn’t be able to sleep. As an adult, I tried melatonin, which worked for a short period of time. But I’d soon have to take more to fall asleep. Getting to an unhealthy amount I seemed a prescription from a Dr.

I have been on Trazadone for insomnia for many years. I cannot sleep without it. I’ve tried. I really can’t. That being said, I can usually fall asleep, but have trouble staying asleep.

6 years ago I had a sleep study done to check for sleep apnea. It was inconclusive. Well, I was trying to sleep on a hard bed with goo and electrodes attached all over my body. I also had people watching me all night, I could see the red light of the camera, and there was a snowstorm moving in that I had to drive home in the next morning. I didn’t sleep a wink until they told me I could turn from laying on my back to my side. I did and zoned out almost immediately.

A few weeks before Christmas of 2021 I was having disturbing dreams of not being able to breathe. I woke up gasping for air. This freaked me out. I called my Dr and said I would like an at home sleep study done. A few days before Christmas I strapped a little sensor to my index finger for 2 nights. It attached to my phone with an app that sent everything to the company. A few days later I was told I have moderate sleep apnea and they recommended an APAP.

My Dr didn’t want to do anything until my appt which was moved to the end of January ’22. That appt was with a different Dr, but they ordered me an APAP. Going through that company was pure hell. The level of incompetence was astronomical. I couldn’t believe it! I fired that company last week.

The new company seems intelligent and friendly. However, because of the huge sleep apnea machine recall (Philips), there is a 3 month wait on getting my machine!! Thats the end of June! Lol

So, in the mean time I have not been sleeping well. I bought a new smart watch as mine died. Its great for calculating sleep. It also calculates deep sleep. For two weeks I’ve been getting less than 30 mins of deep sleep a night. The minimum is 60 mins to function. So, I am used to barely being able to function. However, it all culminated last week when I came home and couldn’t relax in my chair because someone was sleeping in it. I lost it. I went upstairs and melted down.

Sleep greatly effects a person’s executive function. This is especially true in ND folks. Our EF doesn’t work right anyway, and then very low quality sleep? Ugh! Lol Something is going to happen. I can sleep 8+ hours, but if I only got 20 minutes of deep sleep, it’s like I didn’t sleep at all.