Que Sara Sara

For two years, I’ve had very short hair, and I’ve loved it. It’s low maintenance, sort of, and better sensory wise than long hair or even ear-length hair.

For much of the past two years, I’ve also had fun colored hair. Not the usual hair dyes, but blue, teal, purple, multi.

Then, going to a salon to have my hair bleached and colored was getting too expensive. The whole process was over $100. I couldn’t always get the color I wanted, etc. So, one last dye, I had the stylist dye it back to my regular/natural color.

I was not happy with it. The stylist did a great job. It was not me. I was very sad. I thought it would make me look more adult, more serious, more respectable. It made me depressed. And yes, I did it a bit for someone. They never ever asked me to change my hair.

In talking with this person I’d been trying to impress, I was told, again, by them that they are not looking for a relationship. At first, it made me ill. But then, I felt free. I didn’t have to impress this person. I could 100% be me. So, I went and bought hair bleach and fun dye, all for about $20.

Friday night, 12/30/22, I couldn’t go through with bleaching my own hair. I was scared! Haha I did dye my hair anyway. My natural color is a medium brown, so the box said it would be a dark teal.

Fresh out of rinsing and conditioning, my hair was bright teal, where my hair was white, and it looked like it didn’t dye the rest at all.

Saturday morning, I woke up, and it was all dry. Again, it was very teal and bright where it had been white. The rest was very dark. It’s darker than my normal color. I held strands up to the light, and they were actually a dark, shiny indigo. Whew, it wasn’t all a waste!

Next time, I think I will try bleaching my hair first. I hope my hair doesn’t fall out!

I’m free to be me, and it’s like taking a deep breath when I didn’t know I was holding it. I don’t mean to say he was suffocating me. He wasn’t. My expectations for myself in trying to impress him was suffocating myself. I’m glad he said what he did. It freed me. Now I can go back to being me!